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    July 11

    失去

    总觉得自己的心理有太多的悲伤,所以没有把日记的地址告诉别人,怕自己心底的想法在别人的目光中显得脆弱......否则,我虚伪的面具我的欢笑,会让人觉得可怜吧。
    昨天妈妈打电话给我,意思是要给我介绍男朋友,说他们见了男方的家长,以前就认识还聊得愉快。这让我觉得失落。我不知道我的人生该怎样继续下去。接完电话,坐在那,同事说我在发呆,回过神,发现自己有气无力。悲伤,发着呆是发现自己好象真的无法去爱上一个人,我怕这样的自己,怕自己不幸福,怕自己依然孤单,怕自己一直固执的不放,怕自己一直这样下去。真爱只有一次?
    有时候悲伤让我想彻底失去自己,让别人去主宰我的生活,哪怕婚姻和幸福,我害怕有一天我真的会这样......
    很清楚的知道自己回不到从前,却一直在无力的想去挽回,明明知道不可能,却还是傻傻的做着傻事

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